reminiscing, with myself

Went over to my childhood home, where my Brother Gene still lived until his death. Need to try and clear personal things out. I begged my siblings to go with me for the last month since Gene's death, they kept saying there is nothing there that they want.
This wasn't my point for going, the house is in foreclosure and I hate to see his personal things out on the curb to be picked through by what ever pickers might drive by. I really needed to do this, sort of a healing process for me. No matter what has happened in his life, he still needs some kind of respect and damn it I will give it to him!
The whole ordeal was extremely emotional,100% heartbreaking to really have a look around and see how he had been living.
I kept putting the house visit off because there are two squatters living there.
But at final last I got my brother Glenn, son Pat,young Brents Mom- Denise and old neighbor Bob.
One squatter in the house is sleeping, he never woke up and we dug around in closets for 3 1/2 hours.
I fear I have become a hoarder, there were things I wanted of my Mothers but I knew I had no place for stuff, things really not even worth saving anyway, but I am so sentimental.
I filled boxes of papers and photos to look through at home later.
Packed up clothes for Salvation army. Had the fellas load up Moms singer sewing machine I plan on fixing it up maybe as a computer desk, Loaded up the old cedar chest for Jan.
 Denise  didn't want the stonewear Dishes she got from her Grandmother, so I took that thinking maybe I would sell them.
Got some music instruments for Pat to do what ever he wanted. Then got the hell out of there because the whole ordeal was getting to me, I just needed out.

                    Do you think I'll ever really clean this machine up?

 This cigar can dated 1954 was my favorite thing to play with as a youngster mainly because it was chalk full of random buttons, Mom would cut buttons off of stained blouses, dresses, shirts and pop them into the button can, many buttons here still have bits of material stuck to the backs of them. I do not sew buttons on shirts, but like any collection, it is unique and I am happy to have it.

 Just like myself, Mom saved school books and here is one lovely picture I drew (a bit ashamed because the paper said 4th grade.